Porn/Not Porn
...It's the action-packed sex-party game of the 00's!...
requirements:
*two or more players (notice, the game is probably easily solvable with two players. unless you use some funky optional rules.)
*a computer connected to the internet
*pencil and paper And/Or pennies or poker chips or what have you And/Or nothing else
setup:
1. Determine the order of the players. You should probably get everyone to stand in a line in order, or write their names down in order, or go by birthdays or alphabetical order or whatever.
2. (optional) Make up some kind of a game-score worksheet. You'll need a collumn for each player, as well as a p/np collumn, and a row for each turn taken. Maybe some other rows and collumns, too. Use your discretion.
3. (optional) Determine which player is "the Bank." "The Bank" should be the keeper of the worksheet, as well as any poker-chips, pennies, discarded articles of clothing, deeds and writs, etc. They should also be the one that handles the computer. To choose the Bank, i suggest that you play a game of Porn/Not Porn, and make the winner the Bank. I will not be held liable for infinite regression paradoxes. ...paradoxi. paradaex. whatever.
4. Determine the point value required to win the game. (again, i would suggest playing a game of P/NP to determine this. again, any paradox into which you fall is your own problem.)
play:
1. The person whose turn it is suggests a url.
(optional: write the url down. this may get tedious, but it may also be very, very funny afterwords.)
2. Each other player chooses Porn or Not Porn.
(it'd probably be a good idea to write this down. if you have a Bank, they'll probably be eager to do this, since it's that kind of person that tends to like being "The Bank." or just make everyone put a penny under an overturned plastic cup, "heads" meaning porn, and "tails" also meaning porn.)
3. Determine if the url is Porn or Not Porn. Let the Bank do it, it'll make them happy. It can be any kind of porn, as long as it really is porn. If there is debate over whether the site is porn or not, a vote will be held. How you choose to vote is beyond the scope of this document. Refreshing.
4a. If the proposed url is porn, the player whose turn it is gets a point for everyone that said it wouldn't be. Cha-ching. Everyone that predicted correctly also gets a point, including turn-boy.
(or give them pennies to represent their points. i suggest a rate of two pennies to a point. this way, if anyone looses a penny, they still have one left over.)
4b. If the proposed url is not porn, everyone that predicted correctly gets a point, and the person whose turn it is cries, cries.
5a. If no one has as many points as are required to win the game or more, it becomes the next player's turn, repeat 1 through 5, and thus continues the circle of life.
5b. If someone does have as many points as are required to win the game or more, allow the cycle of turns to continue until it is the first player's turn. DO NOT LET PLAYER ONE TAKE THEIR TURN. Instead, determine which player has the most points, and give them oral sex. They win.
6. There is no step 6.
7. No poofta's.3 (note: this is a relatively obscure monty python/philosophy joke. don't worry.)
Analysis:
see, the clever bit is how the person whose turn it is wants to pick a url that's porn, but they want one that nobody else will think is porn. not only do you have to be right, but everyone else has to be wrong if you want to get the big bucks.
Variant 1; Strip P/NP
requirements:
as a standard game, except that you will need a collection of clothing to count as "the pot." the more humorous/demeaning/painful, the better.
This variant is played as a normal game, except that every turn, everyone that doesn't get a point takes off an article of clothing and puts them in "the pot", and everyone that does get a point puts on one an article of clothing taken from the pot. The winner is the very sweaty person that ends up wearing everyone else's clothes.
Variant 2; P/NP drinking game
requirements:
as a standard game, except with lots and lots of alcohol.
The first three steps of this game are played as normal. Instead of step four, however, everyone takes a drink. You all win.
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